For some more grounded stories and ideas, please feel free to explore Rosie's Words Words Words.

Monday, December 1, 2014

So, you say your friend isn't excited about Ep. VII?

The following is a responds to the Blog Post, "It’s Okay to Not Be Excited for the Star Wars VII Trailer" by Rory Stark on GeekDad.com.


There are a few emotions when someone doesn't "get your thing".

First, let's discuss...why do we even CARE if someone get's "your thing"?  Well, there is a sense of relief when you get to be honest.  If you are hiding a part of you because you are ashamed or worried about ridicule, it hurts.  So, when you find a kindred spirit who shares "your thing" you can relax, lower your guard and just be yourself.

There is sadness that they haven't been exposed to "your thing", especially when they share enthusiasm for some of your "other things."  You got joy from it, and it hurts you to know that there is joy that exists that they do not get to experience.  In this case...it is perfectly fine to give them a recommendation.  I love getting recommendations about movies, TV, books, etc. from kindred spirits.  Just remember...recommend and then let it go.  Once you've brought it up, if they find the time to check it out...they will.  If not, you put it out there, and that's all you can or should do.

However...

...there is the shock when friends with shared interests HAVE experienced "your thing" but it is not "their thing".   You THOUGHT you had a kindred spirit...but now, you realize they may not share your values.  You now wonder if you can really let down your guard around this person.

Well, there is good news.  If they were real friends...it won't matter.  There are so many different reasons why we are tied emotionally to our "things".  Does a movie remind you of a feeling it gave you?  Does a hobby remind you of the person who taught it?  Does a recipe remind you of a particular trip you took?  Does a book remind you of the awe of finding a new way to look at the world?

Your experiences are so specific that it is rare to share commonality with anyone.  Ever try to share a funny experience with someone not present, only to fall flat and conclude with, "Well, I guess you had to be there."

With Star Wars...you had to be there.  You had to be a fan or a kid in 1977.  Otherwise, the old movies will be just that...old.  It was an experience.  And for those who were kids in 1999, I can assure you that for them...the lightsaber dual between Anankin and Obi-wan in ROTS was a much better fight than the duel between Vader and Luke in ROTJ.  (This is incorrect, by the way...but I digress.).  For my son, who is a kid now, Star Wars is The Clone Wars.  He loves Anakin, Obi-wan and Ahsoka as much as the kids of the 70's love Luke, Han and Leia.

My point is that we can not expect people in our lives to share all elements of ourselves.  I have a buddy who loves Lonesome Dove as much as I love Star Wars.  He has seen it so many times, he's got it memorized.  It is "his thing".  I seem to remember enjoying it...but it is not "my thing".  And that's fine.  We are still buddies.  We don't see eye to eye on everything, but we know we can be ourselves without fear of ridicule or threat.  And that is what it's all about.

No comments: